Back from the beach

We stayed in a really nice hotel that was right on the ocean. Thanks to the lovely folks at hotels.com, we only paid $75/night for our two queen-bed, kitchenette, view of the ocean, 11th-floor room. During a weekend in the high(er) season, the same room goes for over $300/night. And even though we stayed during the week that lots of recent high school graduates come down to the beach to go wild, we were in too nice a hotel to really have to put up with assy drunken teens. BONUS.
Unlike our past trips to the beach, where we mostly sat around and enjoyed just the pool during the day and boardwalk at night, this time we actually went to the beach two days in a row. I, of course, being fish-belly white owing to my part Welsh, Irish, and German heritage and being very vain about my substantially wrinkle-less face, spent my time under an umbrella and wore SPF 60+ as well as a cover-up over my 1940s-style (very sexy, let me tell you) bathing suit. I don't so much as have a new freckle, thank you very much. Husband, however, was determined to get rid of his farmer tan (or, as we fans of King of the Hill refer to it, his "Dale Gribble") and so he went lighter on the body SPF, but relented when I insisted that his face be SPF-ed to the max (something about him already developing crows' feet and how did he not notice that on his own?).

On our second night we played mini-golf, and even though I got a hole-in-one on the eighth hole, I still lost. His score: 46. My score: 50. Oh, well. I still kick his butt in air hockey. (I am relentless at air hockey. Dangerous, even.)
Overall, we had a really nice time. There were a couple of tense moments on the beach our first day out, when dumb teenage boys insisted on playing football near us. They spent what felt like an eternity trying to set up the game, and I was in no mood for any of it, so I loudly started saying that they should just dispense with the football facade and just head straight for the sodomy like I KNOW THEY WANT TO. This cracked my husband up even as we was begging me to not get into a fight with a bunch of idiot kids. I kept up the "you just want to tackle each other because you like to touch boys' Linuses" line of smack talk until they eventually took the game far away from us. I may have also said I was going to keep their ball the next time it landed near me. Hey, at least I warned them.

And there was also my search for hush puppies that yielded no results. I really wanted some damn hush puppies. I mean, seafood restaurants as far as the eye could see, and yet? Hush puppies were always out of reach. On our second night we ate at a place that offered either an overpriced buffet or waitress dining. We opted for the waitress dining, because you never really get your money's worth with buffets. It was after we were seated and ordering our drinks that we learned from our waitress that they totally served my beloved hush puppies over on the buffet side of the restaurant ONLY. So close, and yet so far. And so stupid. I mean, they couldn't run over to the other side of the restaurant and drop a couple on a plate for me? No, you can only get them if you're on the buffet side. What the hell? Who makes these rules? Is there only one kitchen for the entire restaurant? Yes. So why only serve certain dishes on certain sides of the building? MAKES NO DAMN SENSE, I TELL YOU. Anyway, I have yet to taste my beloved hush puppies so far this summer, but I am not giving up. It's become my summer goal along with redecorating my office, and you can probably guess which one I'm more obsessed about.